“clown mechanic”

by

John Hicks

18 Massapoag St.

Weymouth, MA  02190

443-676-6606


FAde In:

int. repair garage – day

BENDIX the clown mechanic pushes MULLET’s yellow Volkswagen into the service bay while Mullet steers.

 

The garage has a Rockabilly feel and is made up of wood slats with many large cracks through which the sunlight comes in.

 

BENDIX

OK Mullet, go ahead and pop the hood for me.

Mullet honks the bike horn attached to his shirt twice and pops the hood.

 

BENDIX

Now let’s see what the trouble is.

Bendix leans in and pokes around while scratching his chin.

BENDIX

A-ha!

Bendix starts to pull on something that gives a lot of resistance. He plants his feet on the bumper and leans back hard as he strains to free the item.

 

The item suddenly releases and Bendix falls back onto his butt with a rope of tied-together multi-colored handkerchiefs trailing behind which softly falls down on top of him.

 

Bendix stands up

 

BENDIX

OK, Mullet. Try starting ‘er.

Mullet honks his bike horn twice and then turns the key. Nothing happens.

 

bendix

Ah, crapballs. Alright, hold on.

Bendix leans back into the engine bay and begins rummaging around. His short little body leans deeper in until his feet are off of the floor and his gigantic clown shoes stick straight in the air.

 

The sound of clanging metal emanates from within the engine bay. Bendix pulls out a golf bag with mangled golf clubs, a few pots and pans, and then finally a full suit of armor.

 

bendix

That’s gotta be it, Mullet. Give it another try.

Mullet honks his bike horn twice and turns the key. Nothing.

 

A visibly frustrated Bendix harumphs and picks up a sledgehammer. He starts banging it on the engine.

 

Bendix accidentally smacks the hood support and the hood crashes down on his head.

 

Bendix pops out yowling with a big goose egg on his dome and yells unintelligible profanities while running in a circle. His big cigar almost falls from his mouth.

 

As the pain starts to fade, Bendix runs up and kicks the bumper, and as if by Fonzie magic, the engine miraculously starts.

 

Mullet smiles dopily and honks his bike horn multiple times while Bendix beams with clown haughtiness.

 

bendix

Well, it looks like you’re all set Mullet.

Mullet honks his horn and puts the car in gear. He honks again and waves to Bendix.

 

Mullet starts driving the car out and accidentally runs over Bendix’ massive clown foot.

 

Bendix

Yowch! (Unintelligible profanity)

Mullet stops immediately and hangs out the window with huge puppy dog eyes, obviously worried about Bendix and feeling very bad.

Bendix hauls off and kicks the bumper of Mullet’s car. The car collapses into a heap of parts with Mullet sitting in the middle of them still holding the steering wheel.

 

Bendix closes his eyes and scrunches his face in disappointment, and gives himself the facepalm.

 

In resignation, Bendix picks up a wrench and clocks himself in the head, knocking him out cold.

 

FAde Out:

The End

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